


Deity

by ilupant



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Infatuation, M/M, Mint Eye, Obsession, Other, Ray has issues, Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, You do too, but you think they might, cult stuff, cults don't solve your problems, nonbinary reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25122241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilupant/pseuds/ilupant
Summary: You've been suffering for a very long time. So has he. You both have known nothing but misery, deceit, and pain. You find comfort in each other, and with him by your side, you see the possibility of a better future. One with happiness and peace, love and comfort.The stardust blinded you, and you blinked away fragments of the tears that gathered in your eyes. You wanted this. You wanted him. And the suffering that you endured to reach Paradise was a small price to pay.
Relationships: Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Deity

It was sad.

He was sad, and so were you.

You didn’t understand the way he looked at you. Mint eyes swirled with emotions you couldn’t name, telling you stories you couldn’t understand. He laid next to you, tenderly caressing your cheeks, brushing the hair out of your face, gazing at you like you were the only person in the world that mattered. His warmth was almost tangible, the gentle way he regarded you was so sweet, so intoxicating that you could never find a reason to defy him.

You had never had anyone look at you in such a way before. You’d always longed for comfort. You were lonely, miserable, exhausted; tired of living the same life, tired of being let down and disappointed, tired of being failed repeatedly by those you were supposed to trust.

He looked at you like he would never let you down. Like you were a deity. He would worship the very ground your feet touched, protect you fiercely, with a determination to keep you safe and happy. Like he knew the pain you’d gone through and wanted to ensure that you would never ache in the same way again.

He looked at you like he understood.

You thought that he must have led a life of suffering, similar to yours. It was the only way he would have been able to understand you so deeply. You wondered what he’d gone through, what he’d experienced that had inspired him to turn to the sort of life he was currently living. He seemed so very lonely, like there was an emptiness inside of him that only you could fill. Like he’d been searching for you for a long time, waiting for you to come within reach so that he could whisk you away to a better life.

His determination was palpable, physical. If you reached out, you were sure you would be able to feel it. The way he looked at you, the way he treated you, so gentle and so sincere, was the only thing that mattered to you anymore.

Your old life was gone. All that you’d had to endure, the endless hurt that constituted your past had melted into the background, forever gone. It had no place here, no right to hold any influence over your life and your thoughts. Not with him here to ward it off and keep you locked away in a bubble of safety.

You’d never had someone devote themselves to you so entirely. But here he was, eyes locking with yours like you were the only thing in the world that carried any value. He couldn’t look away. To him, you were a cure; something he had been searching for in the same way that you had been searching for him.

It was strange. You’d never thought that you were the type of person to abandon yourself, your identity, just because someone offered you the security that you’d been seeking out for so long.

But, the second he’d offered you protection, happiness,  _ paradise, _ your old self crumbled. You didn’t need to be independent. You didn’t need to live your own life, to have your own identity, to preserve your dignity. None of that mattered to you.

You only wanted to be safe, happy, cared for. You’d never experienced that kind of security before, especially not in the presence of another person. The years that you’d lived had been filled with deception, lies, misery. Why would you waste a second when presented with a chance to leave all of that behind forever?

You lifted your own hand, caressing his cheek with the same tenderness he showed you. A few strands of his hair, bleached and damaged, brushed against your fingers, and you felt the dryness that the repeated exposure to chemicals had brought forth. His eyelids fluttered shut, red eyelashes long and dainty, and a content sigh fell from chapped lips. You felt the emotions in that single sigh, the years upon years of loneliness, misery, deceit that constituted its very core. He’d lived a life like yours, you thought, and you were filling the same emotional void for him that he was for you.

Your chest was so full of emotions, so full of hope and contentment. With him in front of you, all of the hurt that you’d endured suddenly made sense. It had led you to this, to  _ him. _

Why would you need anything else?

Why would you fight against obtaining a life in Paradise?

Your lips stretched into the slightest smile, and tears filled your eyes. Your heart was filled to the brim with an elation you had never before felt, and it was so overwhelming that you could hardly breathe.

This was what you had been searching for. An escape, a way out, a life that could offer you some form of happiness. A life so different from the one you’d been living.

When his hand covered yours, which was still resting against his cheek, the warmth you felt encouraged tears to finally escape from your eyes, dribbling downwards as a tangible expression of emotion that overpowered your rationale. The trails of moisture were a testament to all that you’d gone through to finally reach this point. They left flowers in their wake, fragments of stardust that had eluded your reach during the years you’d spent as nothing more than a shell of a human being.

You’d wanted this for so long.

You let him press his lips against the palm of your hand, let him show his affection toward you, and didn’t think for a second to stop any of it.

You deserved it, after all. You’d suffered for all of your life. You were finally ready to live a life of contentment, a life of safety. One where you would no longer have to think, to look around in paranoia, seeking out the monsters that hid in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike you down, time and time again.

Why would you return to a life that had brought you nothing but endless misery? A life where everyone looked down on you and treated you like trash, like the very act of trying to exist alongside them was an unforgivable sin.

They couldn’t look down on you anymore.

You didn’t even think to protest when the mint liquid, so similar to the color of his eyes, was forced down your throat. Even when the eyes of countless strangers were trained on your body, leaving you vulnerable, pitiful, despicable. Even when it burned like battery acid, lit your insides on fire, and shredded your mind, reducing you to a writhing insect atop the cold, stone ground. You’d never before felt such a pain. It dwarfed your past torment easily, but for the first time, it was a pain that you didn’t mind feeling. Not when the remedy offered afterward was so sweet, like soft-serve ice cream on a hot summer day.

Even when felt yourself begin to fall apart from the inside out, thoughts scrambling within your head, you knew that this was for the best. You didn’t need to think to be happy, so if all of your thoughts disappeared now, you wouldn’t protest. Besides, with him watching you so intently, ready to devote himself to you forevermore, you knew that you would soon feel complete again.

Just a little longer and your suffering would be realized.

Just a little longer, and you would finally be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Every so often I get hit with inspiration in the middle of the night and word-vomit into a Google Doc. Most times, when I go back and look at what I wrote the next day, it doesn't make much sense. But sometimes, I can salvage something. This was one of those times. 
> 
> I love exploring Ray's character- he's so very complex and intricate, and I feel like it's such a disservice to leave him in the background of the MysMes fandom. That being said, I purposely omitted his name from this. My hope was that any reader could see any version of Saeran through this work so that it would be enjoyable for everyone. I hope that I was able to accomplish that through this piece!


End file.
